What is happening to me? The days are getting longer. The sun is shining. And I'm feeling like some kind of blooming flower. Starting to feel alive again.
I always have to get up at 6.20 and consider that early. I have to drag myself out of the bed, then on to the toilet and sit there for 10-20 minutes before something starts happening. But the last few days I woke up around 5.30 and really had to get out of bed at 6.00 because I really couldn't sleep anymore. I got stuff to do. I need to do this and that and this and that and....
It's a bit freaky that seasons can have such a huge impact on my life, on how I feel. But all the more reason to relax in the moment. It is like it is. And that it's great that there are seasons, so you can feel the change. In autumn it's nice to walk in the forest and contemplate. As it is nice in winter to rest, drink tea, stare at the flames in the fireplace, sleep a lot, sauna, ... As it is nice to wake up in spring and feel alive.....
ありがとうございました
Arigatou gozaimashita
[at the moment it is freezing and snowing again... nice with some variation... : ) ]
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Saturday, March 14, 2009
NSN Inspirational Message of the Day
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Sunday, March 8, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
the endless contemplator
Yeah, have been quiet for a while. I don't know what to say. Been angry with the world again. I know it is not the way. The small things in life are giving me feelings of joy. Tricks the boy plays. All the different and beautiful personalities at work [place of employment]. Snow. Signs of spring coming. Music. A picture of: My dad going to Africa and finding him a little Akon (don't mean to generalize.... but hey......) to foster parent. Strolling through the city looking at people living their lives. Creating their experiences.
I feel a drive inside of me urging me to step in the arena and start to f*#king participate. ...before it is too f*#king late. So, I'm making plans. Did BodyPump last Monday for the first time in months. Am in the process of writing an open application. Writing lyrics for my future band. Bang on the guitar a lot. The guitar is a bright highlight at the moment. I finally found the peace of mind to actually play, without stress. I don't have to be good at it. I just enjoy playing. I don't care how well everybody else can play. I'm making progress.
My lover is in the hospital after surgery today. She calls me and tells me she's in pain. ...and I can't do shit. Other than waiting for her to come home.
This whole thing makes me despise team sports even more. Somebody jumps on your back during a basketball game and wrecks your knee. No apology, no asking 'you alright', no nothing. And the team mates are not particularly lining up to come over and visit. You can skip the 'team' from the term. ...the term 'team sport' alltså.
[Another element of this world to be angry and frustrated about: competition. Go and show off somewhere else! We, the weaker motherf*#kers, can feel pathetic without you!] Ok....
Ya, you see how easy it is to get me started. Time to move over to the meditation bench.
नमस्ते
Namasté
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